Cunnilingus..EQ style.

[Beratuul]

(wrote this fast, but enjoy)

How to give that lady friend some great head...

I have tried and perfected these techniques over my vast career in the head giving realm of my life. Not many people can give a lady some fine cunnilingus, so I take it upon myself to help a brotha out..

Character Creation:

Now, first things first, most females are not comfortable with recieving head from a guy. Why? They are afraid of the deadly three: taste, looks, and smell. Any lady knows this is a very vulnerable position for one to be in, and especially feel comfortable enough enjoying. This is the first battle for the deadly warhammer that is a man's tongue. Before you can even proceed into the dark abyss that some call the female dungeon, one must re-assure the female that you are a) a professional, and b) pass no judgement.

Levels 1-3: Plains of Abraham

That being said, it is extremely important for a girl to combat the deadly three. A good shave job, a good scrub and wash, will vanquish the evil demons known as the deadly three. Female persperation in the known zone happens, in fact, a little extra juice in the nether region is good. Sweat = sweet and salty. Yummy. Just don't go in with a full forrest that might contain too many spider webs and critters. No one wants to cut down a few acres before entering Level 6: The Female Dungeon.

That said, everything is in order. Before proceeding into level 6, you need to gain 5 levels. The first level is pre-game. A clean place to perform such actions. Make your bed. I hate making my bed, but sometimes its a must, not always, but sometimes. That being said, lets say, said lady friend comes over, has a couple glasses of wine, and the blood is flowing, you two make out, whatever, and proceed to pass onto level 3. Levels 1-3 is not why I am here. You want the dungeon? Then, proceed.

Level 4: The Winding Canyon

Once in a good place, you want her to be able to enjoy herself, and you want to be able to combat the dungeon and not get a sore neck.. So, find somewhere suitable. With that said and done, everyone knows, some great cunnilingus is lead up to by foreplay. Kiss the neck, massage the inside of the thigh. DON'T TOUCH THE DUNGEON. Go everywhere by the dungeon. Kiss her earlobes, the neck, etc. Work your way down and slowly unbutton the shirt. Get her blood flowing. Make her want it. Make her need it. The ball is in your court gentlemen. You want her to not want you to stop. Tempt the living shit out of her. Remember do not touch it.

Level 5: The Forest of Arden

Ok, the shirt and bra comes off, and probably so does yours (shirt, if you are wearing a bra, God Help You), and lets say both pants do too. Now, we're talking.. So, you're still kissing her everywhere but not touching the dungeon. Massage the inside of the thigh, and now, slowly kiss the inside of her thighs while working your tongue down her stomach. Lets not be sloppy here, we're not eating a popsicle. Try to stay even, what one does to one side, try to do to the other. As you get to the thighs: tease her. Kiss all around the Dungeon, but never touch the dungeon. Right about now, her blood is flowing and is probably begging you to touch it.. Thats good, we're on track for level 6.

Level 6: The Dungeon

Now, you see the dungeon. Its flowly some ooze. Thats ok, Put on the armour and relax. She wants to know you've done this before, just not a lot. No girl likes a slut. The best way to approach is slow. I prefer to give the whole area a couple doggy licks, from the bottom to the top. Just to get the area a bit moist. Once that is complete, Circle the perimster. Check inside the lips, make yourself known. This is your doman, and you will be king of the dungeon before long. Since you're in the dungeon, you might want to check for any known enemies, aka the clit. If you pull apart the lips a bit, and lift up the hood, you should see a little ball - the clit. Oh Yes ! There you are Peter ! You don't need to be aggressive with this fellow. He is only a level 4 warlock. You are a level 6 now. Easy lickings.

You want to stimulate this fellow as much as possible. Up and down, and side to side, at this point some variation is good. See what she likes. Everygirl is different. Go by her reflexes and sounds, this should let you know what the clit likes. As you're doing this, you can either stick a finger in her vagina if you want. Some girls like it, some don't. If you want the g-spot, you need to make a come heither aproach with your finger, its near the clit. Some girls have it, some don't. Some girls like the finger inside, some don't. If they are really dirty, some like a finger in the ass, again, some don't.

Anyways, time passes, you're doing your job, rubbing her thighs with your free hand, rubbing her boobies.. BOOBIES. Just don't be too rough unless she likes it.. ALL women are different.

Level 7: WTF QQ: There is a level 7!?!?

So, she is starting to moan.. word.. The secret to getting her to orgasm at this stage is to figure out what she likes and stick to it. Don't go extra fast when she is about to cum, it won't hurry up the process, in fact, changing it can set you back to level 6. Once this happens keep doing what you're doing. You'll know when to stop when she either grabs your hand and pulls you up. Saying anything at this point is not valid. She is orgasming, what words will she possibly be able to sputter, besides "Derek, you are a fucking God".

When this is done, she will roll over and go to bed, alas, you can now go back on the computer and play some CS and get some head shots.. Woopa.

[Xarkon]

Can i be your padawan?

[TrollFunk]

Can we pick up the full guide at Bradygames.com anytime soon or is it requisition by person?

awesome writeup man, truely inspirering and oh, look who just read it!.

Im off to the lab(bed) with my assistant(gf) to see if we can hit level 7 tonight

[Beratuul]

Can i be your padawan?

yes.. yes... of course..I am a Sith though =[ So, I think you are called an apprentice.

[Keabit Guinness]

This message board should be linked to every Library in the North America. The educational value is to vast to be just kept here. This along with Phineas' dress code is what everybody needs, should know.

[Nilbert500]

interesting read.

[Beratuul]

I am sure you and Law can write up some Fellatio for the dudes, Nil. Fellation UO style.

[Twystyd]

All this from a man that has never seen a non-relatives vagina in his life. There is still a lot of content lacking son.

[Beratuul]

it was a quick draft I wrote haha..

and my sister has a tight and yummy pussy. Remember, when I went down on her Law, and you ate out my asshole? I should write a story depicting those events. It was a GREAT time.

[Twystyd]

Haha, you sick fuck. Quick or not it was a good read.