This Will Never Get Old

[Twystyd]

I love people like this. Check out this guy -

http://vnboards.ign.com/Merlin/b20666/67891863/?20
http://vnboards.ign.com/Merlin/b20666/67896138/?5

[Twystyd]

ROFL theres more (posting before this kid gets banned) -

Story 1
Don’t know if you have ever been to fiddle town, ca. probably not I didn’t know it existed till the night I went there with 3 friends and I think it is less than 75 miles away.

This was at the peak of the drugs, dealing and stealing phase, the peak only lasted 7 years lol. My current band of brothers was of the wildest sort. The biggest player, the biggest drinker and one from the roughest family, my 3 amigos.

We were looking for a get away one weekend, a safe place party. My friend’s semi step father was this contractor and he had this cabin and compound up in fiddle town. A hunting fishing whatever kinda place. Well he was in jail and my friend James talked us into going up there. We arrived and the compound was full of boy toys, guns (lots), jeep, 4-traxs (Hondas).

We arrived at 10 pm snorting, drinking, and smoking as fast as 17-18 years could. Everything was going great, we tried all the toys. Many hours had past by when it was time to drive the 4-traxes! lol
My friend and I went of into the darkness.
I had no idea where, but he did. Town and the public telephone was 7-8 miles away on dirt roads. We were calling some friends to give directions when this sheriff pulled up we were not even on our bikes when my friend jumps on his and decides to run lol. I followed and so did this hilly Billy sheriff. Now this simply was the craziest chase I ever been in, we approached speeds of 70mph on dirt roads with this pig right on our asses he was trying to hit us for sure. We tried to out run him but the dirt and darkness; well he was right on us.
Just then on a very sharp turn my friend misjudges the arc and drives right into the forest yes at about 70 mph I see a cloud of smoke and dust and slow. The cop stops and gets out to bust my friend who is badly hurt with a punctured lung. The cop is screaming and cussing telling me I better stop now. My friend is not even making noise, but I am a good distance from the both and my bike making noise, I could hear the cop for sure. Unsure of what to do, I didn’t want to lead the police back to the cabin with the drugs, weapon and all that crap just sitting out I'm sure, we were not expecting visitors.

I began to see lights in the darkness as another cop was coming up. sheet. Time to go. I speed away. after about 1 min and I'm in complete darkness I dump the bike off into the forest very quickly. Now on foot and in darkness I am tripping pretty hard. It takes me over 2 hours to find the cabin. when I got there my friends where partying hard and I said hide everything and we gotta go. we packed up and hid our car in the barn. not less than 10 mins later a sheriff car comes onto the property. it completely dark and my hard is pounding. He didn’t get out of his car after several mins he was satisfied no one was home and drove away. We stayed in the barn all night trying to figure out what to do. Our friend was hurt and in custody, but there was nothing we could do, you don’t go talk with the police after doing a lot of drugs lol. Hours past and we headed home undected.

My friend James was hospitalized and didn’t actually get in much trouble, no jail time, we were young and dumb. An he never gave us up even though he was all alone with them and they knew I was out there.

Till this day I have yet to spend a night in Jail.



Story 2

ok this one is very positive and yes true.
but think I have made that clear.

Similar to yesterday’s story of crime, in this one I redeemed myself and maybe balanced my karma.

Some years ago, ironically on the very save street as where I was chased by police a few years earlier.

As I was done with my early morning duties I was cruising down the road about 6 am on Sunday morning. A pass between a lady walking and this old Chevy nova in mint condition. As I speed past the lady screams to me. I pull a move and spin 180 and look back to see whets up.

I am shocked to see that the nova is actually in reverse keeping pace with the old lady as she is SLOWLY moving towards me, she is very old.

Just then the nova stops and out pops a pervert man completely naked head to toe. and he starts running towards the lady.
I instinctively raced up to the lady and yelled GET ON! as I approach her, Chester the molester sees me coming and gets back into his car.

The old lady has not been on a motorcycle in some time as she squeeze my mid section for dear life. And we are off!

I didn’t think about the nova until we were moving and I look back and he is now chasing us. Now I wish my old motorcycle could have out run him but no such luck, with in 1/2 mile he catches up to us and is very close to my back tire, and we are going up hill. but I had enough distance that he just was not caught up to us all the way and we leveled out and my bike reached 80 mph not bad for 2 people on it.
but we are on a straight road with no where to go...

We are now approaching a main intersection.
With out thinking I fly through the intersection unchecked, this was not an even interaction sloping up and down as we went across we caught some serious air time and the lady squeezed me so hard. We land almost perfectly and continue. I look back and the nova attempts the same maneuver, his car also catches air and he comes crashing down bouncing in several directions and sideways. Zoom zip zoom, left right left I lose him in the next neighborhood. phew.
Ironically its right by the old ladies house, I am still afraid he is going to appear at any moment. She thanks me and runs inside her house. I speed home using a different route.

To my amazement the police are waiting at my house, the lady had called them. Now this was the first time I had seen the police and not got in trouble for driving without a license. They were actually happy to see me. They wanted all the details

A week later the old lady sent me a letter and a reward of $200, which I did not keep because my mom said old ladies can’t afford that. The letter I still have to day somewhere in a keep sake box.

See I am not all evil there is some good and bad in all of us.

hope you enjoy....



story 3
ok I will take that as a yes then because no people that mattered replied. Well stone kinda matters but not that much.

IT all started on a early Sunday morning I was a paperboy for many years and we were allowed to use motorcycles in the early morning hours and the cops didn’t mess with us to much as long as we were doing out jobs and not cursing neighbor hoods like a motorcycle gang.

ONE Morning I a sheriff saw us coming his direction we were not delivering we had just came from donuts. So for some reason I decided to run for it lol. Run from what I am still not sure of till this day.

So I flip and skidding 180 degree turn and go for it. I had a few back trails up my sleeves, around a few comers I get to this dirt path that is the only way to this adjacent neighborhood. I lost him lol I am only 1/4 mile from my house now it just down the street.

Just then my bike begins to putter, out of gas. I’m like oh shit, I turn a corner know I am not going to make it to my house. Guess what, lol dead end. Moments later 3-4 police cars block of the street. They see I am a kid I guess, one cop grabs me, kicks over my bike and he is pissed. Throws me into the back of his car. He asked me where I stole the motorbike from. I am like BS man that’s my bike. Well no matter you, you ran from the police that is a crime in it self. Great, busted.

Just then god looked down at me and said aqua I am going to let you go.

Another sheriff pulls into street, he drives by me and all I hear is a bunch of screaming. He is yelling and way pissed at the officers. I don’t recognize him. But then I hear him say, "you god dam f'ing idiots that’s my Paperboy!" lol

Turns out one of my customers that sees me every morning through him his paper in the dark was the Watch commander for the sheriff department in the that area.

My friends that didn’t run just kept going and never even got stopped. Only those who run are chased.

Enjoy!


Story 4
A lot of people though I had a death wish but this could not be further from the truth. In 1.5 year period I almost died a few times. In order:

It was a brisk winter morning sort of like today, my friend called me at the last minute said he needed a ride to school; I was down with it as long as I would be late for class. So I go pick him, up and all is well. We here this strange noise coming from the back of my truck and both are like wtf is that it sounded serious but we had no clue. It distracted us both as we race down the road. I looked back several times, so did he.

In our distraction a full length school bus has merged from the side of the road into our lane and stopped to make a left turn. At @55mph I turn my head to see a wall of yellow. I tried hitting the breaks but we were 10 feet away. Boom my truck flips forward standing on the nose. and smacks back down onto the wheels, the bus doesn’t even move, like a brick wall. In shock we both hop out of my truck my knees are damaged and I fall to the ground, my friend screams my name he can’t see me. Just then kids start coming of the bus and they are all jacked up, crying, heads swollen. I was deep in shock and could not focus, I was very upset that I hurt these kids, a lot of them.

The police/ambulance arrive and question us, even though my head is bleeding and I’m having trouble walking I refuse medical treatment for some reason. I ask how the kids are and he says the are fine, no problems.

I am like what? I saw them get of the bus all messed up. He told me that it’s was a retarded kids bus, with disabled people and they look like that anyways. I thought I had injured 30 kids.

believe it or not the police actually dropped us of back and school a few hours later, not sure why we had just been in a hard collision but if your 18 and refuse treat meant you just get a ride.

I have always had a special place for the disabled or handicapped and I was very lucky and very happy that nothing serious happened to them.

This one you can look up in the newspaper or on the internet if you still don’t believe me. Even though I have no reason to lie


Story 5

This one I wish was not true, but it is and it’s been hard to deal with my whole life.

I was madly in love with the most beautiful girl in my school and we went out for several years, but like young love it became less and less over time. Eventually she didn’t want to see me anymore.
I knew so many guys wanted her, I was incredibly jealous.
I am not proud of this but during lunch one day, we began to argue very bad and I became very upset. She tried to leave the argument and to go class but I was not done telling her my feelings lol. I knew it was over. I banged on the window and yelled out her name.
In that one second my Ring pierced the glass. this was a library window approximately 4x6 feet. I remember seeing a large triangle of glass drop to the floor.
of course I was like oh shit I’m so busted.
I begin to walk away, when a friend yells to me to stop and I am like what? He yells, your ARM!!
I look down and lift up my right arm, but it does not come up, its hanging by the skin only, blood literally shoots to the ceiling and I drop to my side.
My friend, Keith (thank you Keith) picked me up over his back and dragged my body to the nurse’s office. Blood spilling and shooting everywhere.
We get to the nurses office and the nurse sees me and actually runs out of the room an does not return. She freaked out not sure why I never did get to talk with her about it, they fired her a few days later, not at my request.
Kids, friends, and strangers flooded into the room, I am going to die in a few mins and they are all freaking out.
I am on my back throwing up and my blood is shooting to the ceiling.

Just then, the Janitor, RON! WOOT, comes into the nurse’s office. We blood shooting him in the face he grabs the nub of whets left of my arm and squeezes for dear life trying to stop the blood. he had strong hands form a life time of hard work and was able to slow the lose enough that I would not die that day. I passed out the ambulance came. They did repair my arm a few days later and $70K. I has never worked right I did lose my bicep muscle it was to badly damaged but I can write and type its just not super strong.

that was my senior year, hard to live that one down. They all thought I had some death wish, it was again an accident.

Story 6

We formed this small band of thieves out the need for excitement. myself and 3 friends became regulars, 2-3 nights a week we would case local neighborhoods for chit to steal and break into. Only one time were we chased, of course being good little robbers we were always prepared lol. 1 man watching , 1 man steal, 2 men waiting. The owner of the house appears out of the darkness, guess he was a light sleeper. he yells and the watcher runs one direction and the thief runs towards the 2 waiters. He is chasing 1 teen all of a sudden we are 3 teens and here comes the watcher back tracking, so 4 vs. 1. He went down quick. Sorry fella. It was so exciting lol.
After a while we just had done just about every neighborhood in our area and it was time to move up.

Friend of mines parents owned a cabin in Tahoe. We invited ourselves to the cabin and brought 20 friends, drugs, alcohol and the ladies of course. We had so much money from selling drugs and stealing that we just smashed the window of the cabin and paid a window repair guy to fix it in the morning after a very very long night.

First off for some reason maybe cause they are on vacation people in Tahoe don’t lock their chit up maybe they think no one is going to steal stuff when its snowing, wrong.

So some speed and some acid got the party started. We all ready lol. Picture 8 young men exiting a snowy cabin in a upscale neighborhood at 3 am all frying lol. oh well lol. We all split in directions not sticking with our normal plans we went of in twos. This neighborhood had cameras, wallets, glasses, snowboards etc etc all available for the taking. We would fill up all we could carry and tote it back to the cabin filling up my bed of my truck with stolen merchandise. Of course we are getting more and more facked up as the night goes on. Then we run across this Honda 4 trax, its noisy but they are not home so whatever thank you Honda and people not at home. We used that the rest of the night racing around the neighborhood lol. But of course we left it after we used it, trace chit like that not thanks.

Frying on acid we regroup about 6 am an examine all of our loot. So happy we are, what a good haul. My friend even got a nice 6 shot gun, western style lol. He shot it off 4-5 times and then I asked him to brand me. As he touched my skin I screamed with joy, however it melted right through my skin into the muscle and blood came pouring out. lol. That’s my favorite battle wound.

In the morning we pulled the cover over my truck real tight, paid the man for repairing the window and headed for home with about $10,ooo in cash, merchandise. Thanks Lake Tahoe.



Story 6

ok this is a very old story, it happened when I was very young which plays a key part in the story, which is true. I will even try to give you the correct year and location maybe you can look in up in archives if you have no life.

Ok one morning before school, my mom and I stopped at wells Fargo bank in old town fair oaks, California. this was the old time days before atms. So we went into the bank and up to the counter, I was about 6-7 years old. Like a scene out of an old move all was calm and peaceful.

Kicking through the door a man Sweaty as hell wearing a Witches face hallowing mask and carrying an older style German Lugar semi-auto clip pistol approaches the crowd of people at the counter. Shaken and waving the gun screams at people to get f-ing down. He begins pointing his gun at the heads of people and they all quickly respond. my mother and I are off to the side she is on one knee, I am still just standing there. Member, I am a kid. I thought this was a joke or an act of some kind. He had the Witches mask with the really long nose and the big wart. My mom is telling me to be quiet but I ask questions anyways.

The man is getting more and more jittery his hands are shaking and sweat drips from every pore. He points the gun at the tell screaming for money, she is so frightened she cannot move, he becomes more upset. the lady has a nervous break down and drops to the floor. he points the gun at the next teller and she complies.

Money in hand he begins to exit the bank backing out slowly, Running once he gets to the exit. No chit we all see him running across the street and my mom says this to me, "bud go get his license plate!" I ran to the glass door but he was to far away and at the wrong angle plus I am 6-7 lol. thanks mom, we laugh at that still today at family gatherings.

OK so he got away right? NOPE
He did steal $8000, which was a lot back then but not worth going to jail. Some people saw him enter the bank with his mask on and called the police so when he left in his little ugly green Porsche, the square boxy kind, the police were in the area.

He did make it to the freeway where a helicopter ran him of the road somehow. Didn’t get to see that part!

the FBI interviewed everyone at the bank, side note, I did lie to the FBI, and I was a little liar back then. They ask me if he had any unique marks or items on him. For sore reason I lied and said he had a scare on the back of his hand, I guess cause I wanted to be involved not sure why. The FBI asked me for months about this lie lol, they even called me in New York 2 months later when I moved there for the summer.
sorry FBI

hope you enjoyed today’s story, I did tell a short version of this a while back hope this is more complete and more interesting.

hibs taste like chicken
albs taste like ----- (sheet)
Feel so empty without me.


LOVE STORY number 9

Disclaimer: This post is game based for these events took place in my cottage in Yrr in the zone of Wyndham.

It was a cold and chilly nite. lol

No no this is a love story, a tragedy.

The girl: Beautiful, sweet, and kindness to know end, intelligent. Just a perfect all around American girl.

The boy: Trouble, disruptive, liar, cheater, no way is this guy going to make it.

He really didn't know what love was when he used to tell the girls he loved them. He thought he meant it. But how can you mean that and be so unfaithful and lie so easily to the ones for which you claim this emotion.

There love was to be tested over and over; till finally she escaped his charm and he lost the one pure thing in his life.

Fade to black-
He could make her smile and laugh, they had an immediate connection. It was a double date that could have easily ended up with a different pairing. Chance lead them to be the ones kissing that nite. The other couple amounted to nothing, but he was taken with her. Not long did he focus all of his attention to her. As with young love she gave him much trust. His wild nature lead him to stray over and over. In a single nite he cheated on her twice, she never knew. One nite she caught him with another girl, but some how he talked her into taking him back. He didn’t learn from his mistakes and when she travel off to school he wandered yet again. As distance took them apart, his became less faithful. Women he could tough and see were to tempting for him. She heard of these affairs and ended it again. His heart was split for one girl in town and his love who was off at school. When the pure girl finally broke the bond between them she became very ill and even dropped out of school. She was to never again give her heart so freely to another. The boy kept on living, lying, cheating, drinking, drugging his way through his own demons.
Fade to black-

Years would pass and relationships also.

He thought of her often and dreamed that someday he would see her again. His wish came true. God she was more beautiful and radiant then ever as he saw her for the first time in years across the room. The years had been much kinder to her as she had taken care of herself. He had become depress and broken through years of lies and parties.

She allowed him into her heart again, but this time his body and mind were damaged from his own pain. At first the spark was there between them. But he was unsure of himself, stress out, not acting like himself, trying to compensate so that his love would not know he was half the man he used to be. But he could only act for so long, eventually she could tell his faults. Even though he was nothing like the troubled boy of their youth, even though he was so ready to be with her. It was not meant to be.

The boy was in denial, doing everything he could to win her heart. She had learned from the past and even though she now trusted him, there was something in him that was unchanged, his anger, his attitude, something she saw was not attractive. It would turn out to be that his lack of confidence would be his own demise.

Early on a bright Saturday morning he awoke to see this angel in front of him. Will you marry me someday he asked her, don’t answer me now just think about it. She smiled, kissed him and took his ring. For one moment he though he had won her over.

Later that nite while driving to a friends house, using the highway adjacent to the ocean he proclaimed his love for her. His heart dropped when she spoke her next words. "Do you think we are really compatible?" He knew at that moment she did not share the love that he had for her. He had just asked her to marry him that morning, now he could feel her slipping away. "I just asked you to marry me this morning!" He begged her to know why, but just the fact she had said that formalized his defeat. He asked to be taken home, dint fell like meeting some of her friends.
When they got home he began to back, she had not dreamed that he would simply leave and she also began to panic, but she would not stop him. She insisted in dropping him off at the airport. He was so irrational on the ride there it frighten her, but his whole life had change in just one day. She hand him the ring, he said for her to keep it and that he will always love her. He cried as he walked away from his one true love.






STORY 10

well my loyal readers, I need to think hard on what we should discuss today. Ok Ill tell you about my arm, I don’t think I have gone into detail on that story.

It was a bright and sunny day in California, it was spring time actually spring break was the following week.
My girl friend, the sexist little honey around, was a handful, but so was I. Irrational, jealous, etc... not a good boyfriend at all. One day after many many fights we were having a big fight at school.
She decided she was done arguing with me because I was too crazy at the time. I can’t deny that. She decided to go to class, but I was not done arguing. She went into the classroom and didn’t look back. I went to the window and yelled Becky common! Now I didn’t punch the window, that is the truth but I did pound on it and my ring broke the glass, so it did break in anger, actually from a broken heart.

As the large window approximately 4x6 came crashing down, and yes it was supposed to be Plexiglas, I sort of fell forward a little. I said to myself oh shit im so busted, suspended again. I step back and started to walk away, when everyone was looking at me and a friend of mine stopped me. I am like WHAT? he said look at your arm. I look down and my arm is not there and blood shoots to the hallway ceiling in spurts. I collapse at the sight of my arm hanging 90 degrees by the skin.

My friend picks me up and drags me to the nurse’s office leaving a trail of blood for people to follow. When we get there the nurse freaks out and leaves, yes she was fired, I wish she hadn’t been, but that was not up to me. My friend lays me down on the floor and I can see in my peripheral vision a large puddle of my own blood growing, I begin to vomit and I am getting dizzy and clouded, not much time now and I will die from blood loss. A huge crowd of people has gathered in and around the nurse’s office. MY friends are trying to stop the blood but just don’t know what to do. Then my lifesaver, Ron the janitor comes in, he has man hands with incredible strength like troll. HE grabs the nub of what used to be my arm and squeezes for dear life. blood is shooting him in the face, im puking, but he never lets go only squeezes harder. Within 5 mins the ambulance which was only park a mile away at 7/11 pulls up, I pass out at this point.

I wake in the hospital.

My arm has been reattached and im in sort of a body cast, I have not brachial artery and I lost my right bicep. But the put it on and I am using it today, it is not pain free but it works.

Now for the drama.

First the principal, pretended to be my dead father so they would operate immediately. he followed the ambulance, lied and they operated.

Ron the janitor well I never thanked him enough for saving my life. I wish I had thanked him each year, but I lost contact after I graduated.

As for Becky... my first true love. Well this day was the end of our relationship. When I awoke in the hospital her and her parents came to the hospital the next day, where she broke up with me while I was laying in bed all bandaged up. My mom freaked out told them to all get the f out.
She said her parents made her break up with me but I don’t think that is true, I was hard to handle back then.

learned a lot about luck, staying alive, loss, losing my love, and life, boy the tangled web we weave....

Yes I have told this story long ago, but I don’t think I went into this much detail.

Yes all you rejects will say I am lying but I think we have been through this enough know that you realize I don’t care what you think, I am just sorry your life is so boring that you think mine is not possible.

-AQUA


story 11


This all took place in a bar deep in midgard homeland, wink wink.

OK we begin...

I love the city of Tahoe for many reasons, but anytime I hear or think about lesbians I think of this nite.

Deep in some casino, on a cold winter’s nite, I met this sexiest woman I have ever known, a Latin goddess. Minerva was her name, hard to forget a weird name like that and her tan skin and beautiful hair, jut a dam sexy woman. we love you girls, least mids are straight, hibernia and albion is full of switch-hitters.
Ok back to my love story.
I could not take my eyes off of her, she was smiling at me and it was not long before I had this goddess dancing in my arms and kissing my neck. We danced the nite away. My friends were wasted it was time to drive home. Well at the end of a very long nite she wanted me to come home with her, she lived there in Tahoe; I was just up for the nite. Who wouldn’t follow this beauty home? but wait, at this point this girl of my dreams tells me she is bisexual and she wants me to come home and make it with her and her roommate. Does life get any better? I was not attracted to her friend/roommate/lover in the least bit; she looked like my brother in a dress. So if I wanted to be with this amazingly sexy girl I had to kiss a god dam frog. The whole nite this bull was giving me DIRTY LOOKS ALL NITE! now I funnily knew why! she was jealous of her partner wanted to bring home a cute little man, her girlfriend wanted my ______.

So what did I do you ask? I didn’t go home with them. I don’t like ugly heffer women kissing on me, like circus carnies. Yes so I missed out on this most beautiful girl I ever met.

NO NO NO, lol I handed her my digits and told her to call me when she was alone. 1 week later we were doing the tango down in Sacramento. La cuca racha baby:)

I told you it was a love story.

Feels so empty without me.

[Kirt]

i'm supposed to read all that shit aqua wrote?

[Twystyd]

Trust me, it's worth it. It is not often you find this class of stupidity. I love how he thinks his stories are the makings of legend.

[Crippler]

Bad part is, he lives in Sac somewhere now O.o

[Twystyd]

Yea, I caught that too. Some shit about old Fair Oaks about 4 miles from my house.

[Kirt]

haha great you have a true cali freak down the block from you hehe



i seen those stories before i wasn't sure if i wanted to laugh shake my head or just slap him

maybe do all at the same time?

[Kirt]

btw where the hell you been hiding crippler?

[Twystyd]

Well I'm in Orangevale which borders Fair Oaks. Celestrial knows old Fair Oaks, she watches the Super Bowl at Players sports bar in Fair Oaks.

Kir, did you see them posted by aqua or was that a gei cut and paste thread?

[Eirene]

I used to work out in Carmichael.

I know Fair Oaks area....Apartments are cheap out there...$700/mo. Compared to my $1100 hehe.

Orangevale is cool. I'm 5 mins. from Crippler tho

[Ormeld]

Oak Park > All

[Kirt]

that would be the cut and paste Law


i seen each of those when he first posted them diff from each other

makes me wonder if he had this crap wrote down ahead of time and just scanned it all to his comp =/



damn cali ppl ! where's the Up state NY ppl!?

[Crippler]

I've been around~

[Twystyd]

God dammit, everyone is jacking my tildas fuckers.

Orm, please tell me you dont live in Oak Park bro ~ <-----(original tilda user)

[Cadwin]

I should move to Sac to be part of the in crowd