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[Mourningblade]

Top 19 Ways to Tell if a Redneck is Working at a Computer in your
Office

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter."
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
4. There is a gunrack mounted on the CPU.
5. The password is "bubba."
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to five.
7. Nothing on this line but the number 7 again to prove that I
ain't no redneck.
8. Windows 2000 has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
9. Outgoing faxes have beer stains on them.
10. The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.
11. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
12. The menus all have Budweiser, Black Label, and Old Milwaukee
options.
13. Complete collection of Jeff Foxworthy MP3’s
14. The monitor is up on blocks.
15. Seven blue tick hounds under the desk.
16. Deer jerky in the desk drawer.
17. The screen saver consists of pictures of Ned Beatty with
dueling Banjos playing in the background.
18. The six front keys have rotted out.
19. John Deer Pocket Protectors.

[Twystyd]

Very entertaining thread~

[Hellishfiend/Grok]

[Hall]

You might be a Redneck if you star at a bottle of orange juice, because it says Concentrate.

[Candide]

...Here are some details about AC3:

Taken from the Turbine developers message board:

For all the Asheron’s Call fans, we would like to give you an idea of where we see the franchise going and present some initial design ideas that we hope to employ in Asheron’s Call 3.

With AC2, we decide to really take the MMORPG genre, break it down into its essential elements, and then recreate a MMORPG that focused almost entirely on those elements. To a certain extent, we feel that we have accomplished that goal with AC2. But we would like to carry it even further in AC3.

We have always felt that the fundamental elements of a MMORPG are killing, looting, and advancing. Anything other than those elements are just plain drudgery and are holdovers from previous Role Playing Games that obviously did not understand what Role Playing Game players really want to spend their time doing.

To start off with, we feel that quests are just a holdover from previous RPGs that do not really fit into the kill/loot/advance gameplay. We included a half-hearted attempt of quests in AC2 with quest potions and talking statues, but we will just leave quests out all together in AC3. We know that players would much rather be killing/looting/ and advancing anyway.

The action of having to bend down and pick up loot from a corpse also seems wasteful to us. In AC3, loot will automatically appear in your inventory as soon as the MOB dies. In AC2 we gave players the ability to automatically turn loot into gold so they wouldn’t have to waste valuable time running back to town to sell loot. In AC3, this conversion will also be done automatically for you. So instantly after killing a MOB, the loot will be picked up, converted into gold, and put into your pockets. The only downside is that gold will serve no useful purpose in AC3 anyway. (PS: gold is also another holdover from old RPGs)

We were concerned that a player might choose inappropriate choices in a Role Playing Game, which is why we limited choices to a defined skill tree, removed stats, and made all types of character classes virtually the same in AC2. Yet it seems that many still tried to deviate from our vision of the ideal class (the archer) and ended up gimping themselves anyway. In AC3, we have decided to make sure that players cannot gimp their own characters by only allowing a single class and skill tree (the archer). Upon leveling up, skills will automatically be chosen for you. However, you will be able to respecialize at any point in time to the same class with the same skills if you wish.

In AC2, we got rid of arrows and spell components because they simply required players to waste time on something other than killing/looting/advancing. We also made it so that just about any class with any particular weapon did about the same amount of damage for their level. In AC3, we will go one step further by getting rid of weapons and armor all together. Every person of a particular level will always do the same amount of damage without requiring a “weapon” and will take the same damage without requiring “armor” (both holdovers from previous RPGs).

In AC2, we also made a half-hearted attempt at crafting. Since weapon and armor will be completely gone in AC3 and since crafting doesn’t fall into kill/loot/advance anyway, we won’t even bother with crafting in AC3.

In AC2, we purposefully included one of the most poor chat interfaces ever included in a MMORPG in order to cut down on idle chatter (which just takes people away from kill/loot/advance gameplay). In AC3, we won’t even bother with a chat interface. If people want to chat they can log into a chat room. AC3 is just for killing/looting/advancing.

We feel that spending time looking for a party to be able to play a Massive Multiplayer game is also wasted time. We purposefully didn’t employ a group finder (like in DAOC) or an auto-loot splitter (like in almost every other MMORPG) in AC2 in order to discourage players from wasting time trying to form groups. Yet, players seemed to still want to run around trying to form groups instead of killing/looting/advancing. So we have made it impossible to form groups in AC3 by not letting you see or interact with anyone else in the game. We feel like this innovation will greatly move forward the Massive Multiplayer genre.

We are also not satisfied with the fact that players often have to waste valuable time running around looking for something to kill. In AC3, players will be able to just press button ‘V’ and a MOB will pop up in front of them waiting to be killed and looted. And to make sure the player does not get frustrated by having a tough fight, the MOB will always be 10 levels below the player to ensure victory.

In AC2, we tried to implement a system where the MOB would flash when it was vulnerable and could be hit for an absurd amount of damage. In theory it was a good idea; however, we found that players with slower Internet connections were at a disadvantage because they could not always respond quickly enough after seeing the flash. To improve this in AC3, MOBs will always be vulnerable and will always be able to be hit for an absurd amount of damage. We feel like this system will be more fair.

We are also very concerned about downtime and want to make sure that our players spend absolutely no time sitting around to heal, so in AC2 we made the health regain rate very high. Apparently it was still not high enough. So in AC3, we will make players insta-heal within 1 second if they have any damage whatsoever.

In AC1, players would lose 1-2 items on death. We felt like this was too harsh, so in AC2 we only had some reduction in player stats. Unfortunately, this also seems too harsh in retrospect. In AC3, players will be asked upon death whether or not they wish to accept a penalty for death. If they choose “no”, they will automatically spring back to life with full health and no penalty. If they choose “yes”, they will spring back to life but will have the penalty of having not quite full health given back to them (essentially full health – 1hp).

In AC2, we got rid of towns and NPCs since they did not add anything to the kill/loot/advance gameplay. In AC3, we will take this a step further by getting rid of the world. We decided that a “world” to play in is just an antiquated holdover idea from previous RPGs and is not really necessary to the kill/loot/advance system. Players will be able to just play the entire game inside their own 5 foot x 5 foot blank room (imagine the holodeck on Star Trek).

In summary, our vision of AC3 gameplay looks like this:
A player logs on to our servers and is put into his own blank 5x5 room. The player can press the ‘v’ key to summon in a MOB that will be 10 levels below them. The player can press ‘2’ to insta-kill the vulnerable MOB or can sit there and hit the MOB for a predetermined value based on their level. When the MOB dies, loot will be automatically converted into gold and placed in the pockets of the player. Assuming the player did take any hits whatsoever, they will heal fully within 1 second. The player can then hit the ‘v’ key to get right back into the action with no downtime. In the absurdly unlikely event that the player dies, they can choose to come back to life with no penalty or suffer an almost unnoticeable penalty. Every 40-50 hours of play the player will be rewarded with the “Dell guy” saying, “Dude! You got advanced” where skill points will be automatically incremented and the player can get back to pressing ‘v’ and ‘2’.

[Brigs]

Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were cruisin down the I-69 highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road.
It was killed instantly, so Saddam informs the driver to: "Go to the farm over the bypass and explain to the pig's owner what happened."

An hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other.

"What happened to you?" asks Saddam.

"Well, the farmer gave me this bottle of wine, his wife, the cigar and their 21 year old daughter made passionate love to me."

"My God! What did you tell them?" asked the President.

The driver answered: "Good afternoon, I am Saddam Hussein's chauffeur and I have just killed the pig."

[Trump]

ROFLMAO!!!!!! POST IT ON VN!!!!