Christmas Plea

[Twystyd]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Troll.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Snotrocket McDeath's Christmas party. It was Smokky McPuff who spiked the punch with too much Elf Blood. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Highlander Stench.

I thought it was funny when I put Exploseevo SoFreshNsocleanclean 's loin cloth on my head and danced the Krazy Kobald on the rock while singing `Stinkfist'. I didn't mean to break Snotrocket McDeath's Dangling Troll Dominator 3000 and don't know why Snotrocket McDeath would sue me for drunken madness.

I don't remember calling Darklucidity TheCrackhead's wife a puss infected warm furry Sheep---even though she looked like one with Winter White eye shadow and Blood Red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Symbiote SantasLittleHelper's husband's cracked skull, it was only because I ate too much of that Lurikeen leg.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my trusty mount through my neighbor's shiter. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a troll sized cute tingly gerbil and have me arrested for sodomy!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all ugly and shitty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this fowl stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and sloppy yours,
Warllama Mightyscrote (Really a nice Troll!)

P.S. It's only 666 bucks!

Any bitches that want to take the test themselves here-
http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

[Snot]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good MAN-BEAST.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Law's Christmas party. It was Rolondo who spiked the punch with too much Ass-Juice. I can't help it if I drank thirty-blue glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like poop.

I thought it was funny when I put Cryhavoc's cod-piece on my head and danced the The Macarena on the Rolondo's ROD while singing `"Hit me baby, one more time"'. I didn't mean to break Law's pube shaver and don't know why Law would sue me for MURDER.

I don't remember calling Your Mom's wife a Furry Goat---even though she looked like one with Mauve eye shadow and Periwinkle lipstick!

And when I threw up on Law's husband's Elbow, it was only because I ate too much of that corn.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my tri-cycle through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a seeping birdy and have me arrested for your mom !

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all stinky and moist. And I'm really not to blame for any of this gaseous stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and whats an adverb yours,
Snotrocket (Really a nice MAN-BEAST!)

P.S. It's only 1 bucks!

[barbos]

Sincerely and whats an adverb yours,

[Snot]

English has never been my strong suit - but I guess that's really no excuse at my age. The funny thing is I've gotten straight A's in English all through my college career. (Even though I had to actually study to obtain those marks) - but that sentence was actually half-a-joke. I couldn't remember what an adverb was off of the top of my head - and being that I'm on Christmas break, I decided not to worry about it. I'm sure everything I've learned in my English classes would come rushing back to me if I indeed put a little thought into it, but I personally thought that sentence was kind of funny, and I wanted to steer clear of anything having to do with my schooling over vacation.

[barbos]

lol, I thought it was funny... didn't want anyone to overlook it...

I'm not criticizing anyone over their english skills, except maybe law...

[Pytt]

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the cave, nothing made a peep, spare the moans from my slave. As I awoke to take my nightly shit, I stepped outside, Gravelender had beat me to it, straining and squeezing all squint eyes. With a thunderous boom, out shot a turd, steam rising off the pile, i thought this to be absurd. He looked up at me, with that toothless troll smile, Santa will be here soon, to spread joy to this pathetic looking child. His gifts will be a plenty, and down in the chimmeny he will dive, alas GL wants the one gift Santa can not bring, and that is to hit level 45.

Happy Fkin Easter!

[Twystyd]

LMAO that is some funny ass shit there!

[Guyute]

LMFAO
gravelender...hit 45... pigs fly...cold day in hell...

[Elfdroper Gravelender]

Fk u all...my characters are bugged and cannot get past 42 because of an unknow daoc bug that i have proded mythic to look into

[Twystyd]

Well, get your bitch ass back here my friend and happy new year. We have PLed most above 40 and expect to cap a bunch of 50's in a week. Leveling is good right now.

[Zeris]

along the line of fucking retarded peices of humor:
this conversation I had with the gimped up girl that goes to my college. i hate her so much. she used to be a churchie prude, but she converted over to become a dumb blonde.

blondgurl0126: hey!
FreezingFreedom: hi
blondgurl0126: how r u??
FreezingFreedom: good
blondgurl0126: thats cool
blondgurl0126: what up??
FreezingFreedom: nothing much
blondgurl0126: i c
blondgurl0126: i am extremely bored
FreezingFreedom: wow
blondgurl0126: what u been up to??
blondgurl0126: i cant remember the last time i talked to you
FreezingFreedom: reakky
FreezingFreedom: really
blondgurl0126: yep
blondgurl0126: r u ready to go back to iwu??
FreezingFreedom: sure
blondgurl0126: u dont sound very confident about that answer!!
FreezingFreedom: well ok
blondgurl0126: r u ok??
FreezingFreedom: yes
blondgurl0126: r u sure about that???
blondgurl0126: you seem to be in an odd mood
FreezingFreedom: why
blondgurl0126: u dont seem like your usual self
FreezingFreedom: why's that
blondgurl0126: im not sure
FreezingFreedom: ok
blondgurl0126: u just arent acting like u usually do
blondgurl0126: when was the last time i talked to u??
FreezingFreedom: beats me
FreezingFreedom: tomorrow I think
blondgurl0126: ok
blondgurl0126: who am i talking to?
FreezingFreedom: andrew
FreezingFreedom: i think
blondgurl0126: r u sure??
FreezingFreedom: let me check my driver's license
FreezingFreedom: yep, I'm me
blondgurl0126: ok
blondgurl0126: so who did i talk to last nite??
FreezingFreedom: beats me
blondgurl0126: r u still there?/
blondgurl0126: cuz i dont like being lied to
FreezingFreedom: ok
FreezingFreedom: I was out last night
FreezingFreedom: who did you talk to
blondgurl0126: i am not for sure
blondgurl0126: i thought i talked to u
FreezingFreedom: ok
blondgurl0126: but i am not sure about that
FreezingFreedom: Well I didn't talk to you last night
blondgurl0126: r u sure
blondgurl0126: do u know someone named roxanne
blondgurl0126: this better not be bullshit
FreezingFreedom: yes
FreezingFreedom: roxanne was on the comp last night
blondgurl0126: i c
blondgurl0126: who is that??
blondgurl0126: what took you so long to answer me??
FreezingFreedom: a person
FreezingFreedom: I am slow and retarded and require time to formulate my lies
blondgurl0126: thanx
blondgurl0126: so what is this bullshit??
FreezingFreedom: are you alright
blondgurl0126: y??
FreezingFreedom: you seem to be in an odd mood
blondgurl0126: thanx
FreezingFreedom: u dont seem like your usual self
blondgurl0126: well right now i am not sure who i am talking to
FreezingFreedom: u just arent acting like u usually do
blondgurl0126: i c
blondgurl0126: r u still there
blondgurl0126: ???
FreezingFreedom: ?????????????????????????????????/
blondgurl0126: i guess so
FreezingFreedom: huh
blondgurl0126: what??
FreezingFreedom: really how so
blondgurl0126: i duuno
FreezingFreedom: why's that
blondgurl0126: not sure
blondgurl0126: u got any big plans for your friday nite??
FreezingFreedom: no
FreezingFreedom: are you still there???????????
FreezingFreedom: hello?????
blondgurl0126: yeah i am still here
FreezingFreedom: oh ok
FreezingFreedom: good
blondgurl0126: so
FreezingFreedom: i was scared you weren't there for a minute
blondgurl0126: any topic for conversation
blondgurl0126: u c
blondgurl0126: ic
FreezingFreedom: and then I'd have to find something to actually do
blondgurl0126: ok
FreezingFreedom: or else I could sit here bothering people with IMs even though they don't want to hear from me
blondgurl0126: arent u talking to anybody else
blondgurl0126: im sorry
FreezingFreedom: but if I did that people would probably just be jerks and play games with me but I'd be too stupid to notice
FreezingFreedom: oh well
FreezingFreedom: i am talking to you mostly
FreezingFreedom: and myself the rest of the time
blondgurl0126: i c
blondgurl0126: so how have u been
FreezingFreedom: I am in severe pain atm
blondgurl0126: how so
FreezingFreedom: I was in the shower, and I slipped and landed on the shampoo bottle. it was an accident, i swear
blondgurl0126: r u serious
blondgurl0126: or just joking around
FreezingFreedom: oh god please help me
FreezingFreedom: do you know how to alleviate this pain
FreezingFreedom: do you think i should call a doctor
blondgurl0126: hmmm...
blondgurl0126: where is your pain
FreezingFreedom: where it landed and went in
blondgurl0126: i c
blondgurl0126: and where might that be??
blondgurl0126: hmm....;-)
FreezingFreedom: it hurts a lot
blondgurl0126: i c
FreezingFreedom: i think it opened on the way in, shampoo is searing my insides
blondgurl0126: on a scale of 1-10
blondgurl0126: how bad
blondgurl0126: 10 being the worst pain you have ever felt
FreezingFreedom: somewhere around 290759876
blondgurl0126: heeheehee
blondgurl0126: men are such wimps
FreezingFreedom: heeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeee indeed
FreezingFreedom: i guess so
FreezingFreedom: girls are even bigger pussies though
blondgurl0126: well i dont see you having babies
FreezingFreedom: you either
blondgurl0126: not yet any ways
FreezingFreedom: do you know what a harlot is
blondgurl0126: yes
FreezingFreedom: damn
FreezingFreedom: ok
FreezingFreedom: hmm
blondgurl0126: have u ever read to bible
blondgurl0126: the*
FreezingFreedom: oh I forgot
FreezingFreedom: its a bible word darn
blondgurl0126: yes yes it is
blondgurl0126: try again
FreezingFreedom: do you think you're a harlot?
blondgurl0126: no
blondgurl0126: do u??
FreezingFreedom: I'm a manwhore, yes
FreezingFreedom: but I get good rates
FreezingFreedom: and it feeds the kids and puts a roof over their head
blondgurl0126: heeheehee
FreezingFreedom: and they'll have a future
FreezingFreedom: heeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeee
blondgurl0126: i asked if u thought i was!!
FreezingFreedom: are you laughing or is that like a down's syndrome style gasp / choke / chortle combo
blondgurl0126: heeheehee
FreezingFreedom: oh ok
blondgurl0126: ksdaflkjasdfkljsdag
FreezingFreedom: are you having a seizure
blondgurl0126: nope
blondgurl0126: no no im not
FreezingFreedom: lies
blondgurl0126: ok
blondgurl0126: whatever u say
FreezingFreedom: GNAARRRRRRRRR
FreezingFreedom: i must leave your doomed planet
blondgurl0126: ok
FreezingFreedom: this shampoo bottle in the ass hurts too much
FreezingFreedom: only space doctors can cure it
blondgurl0126: my planet is not doomed
FreezingFreedom: goodbye
FreezingFreedom: yes it is
FreezingFreedom: in 2 minutes

Yes, she is that dumb.

Feel free to harass that stupid bitch, harass her for all the times she's wasted my life IMing me.

[Gendaro]

rofl

[Yuengling]

Dear Lord and Baby Jesus. That was pretty good. Sounds like this "gurl" wants to feel your pain too, only she wants something a little more real.

I suggest Thai food with about 3 bottles of Cali zin. That should get the juices flowing.

BTW bro, they can do that kind a surgery here on earth, just ask Gravelender where he went when he got that lightbulb stuck in his ass.

[Pytt]

That was good stuff. But, what I dont understand is how a shampoo bottle could hurt you so? I mean, I've taken bigger shits then 3 shampoo bottles combined. I suggest trying to push it out. Discretly.